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  • 当前位置: 作文大全 > 写作技巧大全 > 写作方法 > 人物描写四忌例谈 > 正文

    人物描写四忌例谈

    更新时间:2014-07-13 10:16 > 来源:作文大全网  写作方法

    文章摘要:开始上班的那天早上,多给了他两快钱,让他在外面吃饭;在家里,一切是大姐作主,在外呢。人物描写四忌例谈39.人最软弱的地方,是舍不得。我想现在对很多人的感谢除了这只字片语,就真拿不出什么实质性的东西了!那位专家说:“读万卷书不如行万里路,行万里路不如阅人无数。

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    我们写文章都离不开写人。写人又离不开写出人物的血肉与灵魂,千方百计地让笔下的人物站立起来,丰满起来,鲜活起来,可是我们从学生的习作和考场作文却看到众多的人物是草纸人、木偶人,我们在描写人物时要四忌。

    一忌:刻板式的勾画脸谱。

    例1:我认真地打量着新同学,高高的个子,不胖也不瘦,剪着小平头;往下看,两道浓眉下一双炯炯有神的大眼,鼻直口阔,脸色略微有些发黑;上身穿一件白色运动衫,下身一条灰色西裤,脚穿一双网球鞋;他左手拎着书包,右手拎一网兜,网兜里有一只新足球。仔细阅读这一片段,我们会发现作者描写的人物显得呆板,缺少灵性。

    首先描写人物时不要像画脸谱式的面面俱到,眉毛胡子一把抓。描写人物的外貌要抓住其最显着的特征,如鲁迅先生在《故乡》中所刻画的杨二嫂形象就仅抓住“凸颧骨”“薄嘴唇”“两手搭在髀间,没有系裙,张着两脚,正像一个画图仪器里细脚伶仃的圆规”等特征,寥寥几笔就刻画出一个尖酸刻薄的生动形象。其次描写人物不要刻板式的静态临摹。例如我们在“两道浓眉下一双炯炯有神的大眼”的后面加上“眼睛一眨一眨的,眼神中透出聪颖,还带有些调皮的表情”等描写句,人物就鲜活多了;如在“网兜里有一只新足球”后增加主观猜测“一看就知道是个球场虎将”等句,还能表现人物的个性特点;如果想让人物鲜活些,我们不妨再增加一些动态描述:“他似乎已经感觉到我们在看他,就很不自然地冲着我们笑笑,又低头看看兜里的足球,右脚轻轻地踢踢足球。”

    二忌:蜻蜓式的轻轻点水

    把心理活动的起因写清楚,对展示人物形象是十分重要的。我们在描写人物心理活动时要走进人物的内心,揣摩人物的最深层的丝丝脉络。写清人物在想些什么,又是怎样想的,千方百计把心里动态活动的过程全面展现出来。否则,人物的形象就会苍白无力。请看下例:

    例2、我走进了办公室,迎面正碰上曹老师的目光,里面充满了责备,我喊了一声“曹老师”,曹老师点了下头,只是“嗯”了一声。

    如何让上段中的人物“活”起来呢?首先要写出“我”走进办公室的心情:“我怀着一颗忐忑不安的心走进了办公室”;其次表现出“我”见到曹老师时的具体感受:“老师的目光里完全没有了往日的慈祥可亲,而是充满了责备,于是一阵恐惧袭上心头,只觉得手心出汗,似乎连心跳的声音也能听到”;再次突出“我”喊曹老师时的声音与往常有什么变化:“我只好勉强地笑一笑,喊了一声”曹老师“,连声音都带有几分颤抖”;最后写出老师应答的表情和态度,可以这样描述:“曹老师皱了皱眉,鼻孔里嗯了一声”。如此浓墨重彩地渲染揣摩,人物的心理活动就更具体、更真实,我们读了这段文字,眼前仿佛就有一位即将挨批评的十分紧张的中学生形象。

    三忌:拉洋片式的机械运动

    动作描写是刻画人物的最为重要、也是最常用的一种表现手法。在我们熟知的古今中外的文学作品中,传神的动作描写比比皆是,有葛朗台死前独具特色的动作,有范进中举后出人意料的疯癫,有孔乙己“排‘出九文大钱的炫耀和“摸“出四文钱的尴尬。作家莱辛说过:“主要的东西是让人行动起来,通过动作显示人物的性格特征。”如果机械地临摹人物的动作,那人就会成为“僵尸”。看下例:

    例3、我不情愿地站起来,拿着数学书走到黑板前做题。我还把粉笔都弄断了几次。本来很简单的数学题,却用了十分多钟。

    上段只客观机械地写人物“做了些什么”,动作之间缺少连贯性,如同“拉洋片”,又像“连环画”,如何将每一幅幅画连缀起来呢?我们可以增加具体的动作描写,把“怎样做的”的过程写清楚,变成精彩的流动的“录像片”。如既然我是“不情愿地站起来”,就应该是“拿着书慢腾腾地走上讲台,先在粉笔盒里选了一支又一支的粉笔,又写了擦,擦了又写,折腾了老半天”。

    四忌:录音式的单一对话

    描写人物的语言不是录音,而应该像鲁迅先生指出的那样:“人物语言的描写,能使读者由说话看出人来。”达到这境界就要注意人物语言的描写必须符合人物的年龄、经历、身份、文化教养等特点,必须反映人物的特征。

    例4、姐的对象一走,全家人就议论开了。“不行!长得不行!”妹妹说。我问妈妈:“您看呢?”妈妈说:“我没看清楚。”“我看他是二等残废。”小弟说。“胡说!我看了,没毛病!”妈妈说。妹妹说:“小弟说的二等残废就是个子不到一米八!”“对了!在咱们家里没一米八就是二等残疾。”小弟说。“老爸就是二等残疾,只有一米七”我说。

    这段文字仅“录”下了人物说了些什么话,但没有写出说话人的语气、语调和说话者说话时的神态、表情、动作。如能注意到这些,就能增强现场感和立体感,读来会身临其境,如见其人,如闻其声。如为了表现妹妹的武断,可以让妹妹“毫不犹豫地说”;“我”似乎对妹妹的观点不赞成,是个稳重谨慎的人,可以增加这样的插入语“我瞪了她一眼,转身问妈妈”;为了突出小弟的自傲和狂妄,不妨让小弟“骄傲地晃动着他一米八的身板”说话。

    人是活生生的,写在文章中的人物也应该是活生生的,只要我们细致观察,把生活中的实际情况详细地表现出来,你笔下的人物就会丰满和鲜亮。

    文章正文结束,转载请注明出处,写作技巧写作方法人物描写四忌例谈网址址:http://www.shoeshonest.com/xiezuojiqiao/119.htm

    林子俊是一家公司的老总,子承父业,理所当然?我酷爱文学,却偏偏因一念之差而读了历史。人物描写四忌例谈推开心窗,欣然走进这如诗如画的风景,回闻一声鸿雁和寒蛰的惊心,喜赏一份稼穑沉实和枫叶流丹,用思念读取秋无尽的凋落情意。我想,这是日记的正宗嫡派?他要和我分手。我住的是5号楼,那时刚搬来茶山不久,对环境不熟,在校园晃悠了一会准备打道回府,很自然的以为自己走对了楼,一直爬到6楼,我抬头一看门牌:306。
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